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How to be a good wife!

The following is an excerpt from a 1950's home economics textbook intended for high school girls, teaching them how to prepare for married life. It has been modified a bit to be more in keeping with the ideals of the Domestic Drones. And who says you can't teach an old dog new tricks?

THEN: Have dinner ready. Plan ahead, even the night before, to have a delicious meal - on time. This is a way of letting him know that you have been thinking about him, and are concerned about his needs. Most men are hungry when they come home and the prospects of a good meal are part of the warm welcome needed.

NOW: Familiarize yourself with the take-out options on your husband's way home from work. It is always a good idea to stash the takeout menus in your husband's glove box. This way they are conveniently located within arm's reach when he needs to call ahead to order dinner on his way home from work. And he won't get in a car accident searching all over the car for them!
THEN: Prepare yourself. Take 15 minutes to rest so you will be refreshed when he arrives. Touch up your makeup, put a ribbon in your hair and be fresh looking. He has just been with a lot of work-weary people. Be a little gay and a little more interesting. His boring day may need a lift.

NOW: Don't worry about your clothes...if bra-less is good enough for the mailman and UPS delivery guy, it's good enough for your husband!

THEN: Clear away the clutter. Make one last trip through the main part of the house just before your husband arrives, gathering up school books, toys, paper, etc. Then run a dust cloth over the tables. Your husband will feel he has reached a haven of rest and order, and it will give you a lift, too.

NOW: If you can see the floor, the house is clean enough.


THEN: Prepare the children. Take a few minutes to wash the children's hands and faces if they are small, comb their hair, and if necessary, change their clothes. They are little treasures and he would like to see them playing the part.

NOW: Are you fucking kidding me??????


THEN: Minimize the noise. At the time of his arrival, eliminate all noise of washer, dryer, dishwasher or vacuum. Try to encourage the children to be quiet. Be happy to see him. Greet him with a warm smile and be glad to see him.

NOW: Ok...I've had to listen to the Wiggles and Barney all day long, and you want me to minimize the noise for HIM? Huh uh...misery loves company, baby!

THEN: Some Don'ts. Don't greet him with problems or complaints. Don't complain if he's late for dinner. Count this as minor compared with what he might have gone through that day.

NOW: Nothing he has gone through at work comes even close to staying home with a two-year old. Bitch all you want.

THEN: Make him comfortable. Have him lean back in a comfortable chair or suggest he lie down in the bedroom. Have a cool or warm drink ready for him. Arrange his pillow and offer to take off his shoes. Speak in a low, soft, soothing and pleasant voice. Allow him to relax and unwind.

NOW: At least attempt to acknowledge him when he gets home. Or better yet, ask him to join in on the fun of chasing the kids and dog around the house! Who knows...getting all hot 'n sweaty could lead to even more cardio activities later that night!

THEN: Listen to him. You may have a dozen things to tell him, but the moment of his arrival is not the time. Let him talk first.

NOW: How many parents of toddlers do you know who actually have adult conversations anymore? Yeah, that's what we thought...this one's obsolete.

THEN: Make the evening his. Never complain if he does not take you out to dinner or to other places of entertainment; instead, try to understand his world of strain and pressure, his need to be home and relax.

NOW: Out to dinner? Entertainment? You'd damn well better complain if he doesn't do this for you! Tell his lazy ass to hire a babysitter once a month so people can wait on you for a change.

THEN: The goal. Try to make your home a place of peace and order where your husband can relax.
NOW: If you have to live in chaos, so does he!

Gawd,in the 50's i would have been a horrible wife!!!

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