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I joined a new page on fb geared towards parents of four or more kids, and they have ‘community questions’ for the moms & dads of many to answer. You answer as a comment, but i thought the question was blog worthy (especially, since i haven’t blogged in forever)
[via 4 kids or more]
do you believe in giving your kids individual time? And if so, how do you make the time?

As a mother of four kids, under 10, all in various stages of development, this is a loaded question.
my response:
Do i try to make equal, separate, individual time for them? Of course i do. Does it always work out? Not always.
Am i going to beat myself up over it? Nope.

A long time ago, when i was still a mother of two, i read a quote somewhere that stuck with me.
It said “Treating everyone equal does not mean that everyone gets the same, it means everyone gets what they need” and it works, even for parenting.
Not always do each of my four children get the exact same amount of time, but they do get the time they individually need, and with the same amount of attention, love and patience.
It may mean that my #2 gets 15 mins of a story, but #1 only gets 10 mins of serious talking, #3 gets a story and snuggle for 20 mins while #4 gets 30 mins of nursing and snuggling. I don’t think the time is going to be what they remember. I don’t think #1 is going to grow up thinking about how he only got ten mins of my time on friday while #2 got 15. I like to think what he’ll remember is that his mom stopped, and listened, uninterrupted when he needed me too.

Quality, not quantity, i guess that’s what we do.

I’m not saying that #1 *always* gets the least, or Lady Girl the most. I’m also not saying that it’s always like this.
What my point is, i’m not going to hate myself or feel guilty if they don’t all get exactly the same amount of individual time everyday. 

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Nine-eleven Ten years later.

Ten years ago. Has it really been that long?  I remember it like it was yesterday.If you asked me if I remembered what I did last Tuesday I couldn't tell you... but if you asked me if I remembered what I was doing 10 years ago on Tuesday, September 11, 2001, I could tell you exactly what I was doing. I was in the bath, almost due with Christian. My grandmother was yelling down the hall "they hit the towers" I got out to find her white as a ghost, with the news on, and she said "i can't live through another world war" as the second plane hit.
Remember the oneness which occurred immediately following the attacks that day? Remember  how it didn't matter what "party" you belonged to? Remember THAT? Remember you made eye  contact with people everywhere you went because we all had something in common? Let us not forget THAT. (quote & via Job Description mommy “Now, we have inscribed a new memory alongside those others. It’s a memory of tragedy and shock, of loss and mourning. But not only of loss and mourning. It’s also a memory of bravery and self-sacrifice, and the love that lays down its life for a friend–even a friend whose name it never knew. “ - President George W. Bush, December 11, 2001

For the husband who told his wife he loved her before his plane went down in a field. For the wife who stopped in the stairs to call her husband to say she will love him forever. For the mothers and fathers who kissed their kids goodbye that morning for the last time. For the policemen, firemen, and other rescue workers who rushed in to help others and lost their lives. For the soldiers who fought back and made the ultimate sacrifice. a decade ago we lost over 3000 lives in new york city. and they will never be forgotten.
 Today, tomorrow, ten years from now,
we will remember. 
may they rip. much love to their families.

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