The Sassy Missus

I joined a new page on fb geared towards parents of four or more kids, and they have ‘community questions’ for the moms & dads of many to answer. You answer as a comment, but i thought the question was blog worthy (especially, since i haven’t blogged in forever)
[via 4 kids or more]
do you believe in giving your kids individual time? And if so, how do you make the time?

As a mother of four kids, under 10, all in various stages of development, this is a loaded question.
my response:
Do i try to make equal, separate, individual time for them? Of course i do. Does it always work out? Not always.
Am i going to beat myself up over it? Nope.
A long time ago, when i was still a mother of two, i read a quote somewhere that stuck with me.
It said “Treating everyone equal does not mean that everyone gets the same, it means everyone gets what they need” and it works, even for parenting.
Not always do each of my four children get the exact same amount of time, but they do get the time they individually need, and with the same amount of attention, love and patience.
It may mean that my #2 gets 15 mins of a story, but #1 only gets 10 mins of serious talking, #3 gets a story and snuggle for 20 mins while #4 gets 30 mins of nursing and snuggling. I don’t think the time is going to be what they remember. I don’t think #1 is going to grow up thinking about how he only got ten mins of my time on friday while #2 got 15. I like to think what he’ll remember is that his mom stopped, and listened, uninterrupted when he needed me too.
Quality, not quantity, i guess that’s what we do.


I’m not saying that #1 *always* gets the least, or Lady Girl the most. I’m also not saying that it’s always like this.
What my point is, i’m not going to hate myself or feel guilty if they don’t all get exactly the same amount of individual time everyday. 

Ten years ago. Has it really been that long?  I remember it like it was yesterday.If you asked me if I remembered what I did last Tuesday I couldn't tell you... but if you asked me if I remembered what I was doing 10 years ago on Tuesday, September 11, 2001, I could tell you exactly what I was doing. I was in the bath, almost due with Christian. My grandmother was yelling down the hall "they hit the towers" I got out to find her white as a ghost, with the news on, and she said "i can't live through another world war" as the second plane hit.

Remember the oneness which occurred immediately following the attacks that day? Remember  how it didn't matter what "party" you belonged to? Remember THAT? Remember you made eye  contact with people everywhere you went because we all had something in common? Let us not forget THAT. (quote & via Job Description mommy)  “Now, we have inscribed a new memory alongside those others. It’s a memory of tragedy and shock, of loss and mourning. But not only of loss and mourning. It’s also a memory of bravery and self-sacrifice, and the love that lays down its life for a friend–even a friend whose name it never knew. “ - President George W. Bush, December 11, 2001

For the husband who told his wife he loved her before his plane went down in a field. For the wife who stopped in the stairs to call her husband to say she will love him forever. For the mothers and fathers who kissed their kids goodbye that morning for the last time. For the policemen, firemen, and other rescue workers who rushed in to help others and lost their lives. For the soldiers who fought back and made the ultimate sacrifice. a decade ago we lost over 3000 lives in new york city. and they will never be forgotten.

 Today, tomorrow, ten years from now,

we will remember. 

may they rip. much love to their families. ♥

My friends, love is better than anger. Hope is better than fear. Optimism is better than despair. So let us be loving, hopeful and optimistic. And we'll change the world. - Jack Layton

 CP24- Jack Layton dies after second cancer battle

Rest In Peace Jack Layton.
You fought bravely and hard for Canadian families.
You will be missed by many!

“If I have tried to bring anything to federal politics, it is the idea that hope and optimism should be at their heart,” “We can look after each other better than we do today,”  “We can have a fiscally responsible government. We can have a strong economy; greater equality; a clean environment. We can be a force for peace in the world.”  -Jack Layton

 These were the last words Mister Layton left to his party, and us, in his press release. I can only hope that we can follow them.

Nine Davids: And some are very, very bad.
 (taken from the post: with permission. Click the link to read the whole post)

One Fish, Two Fish, Red Fish, Blue Fish...

"Who is the bad fish in this picture?"

...I asked my husband, with a pit in my stomach, as I read to our 13-month old son.


He raised an eyebrow and said, "Uh, the red one, obviously."


I always thought it was the yellow one.


My whole childhood, in the thousands of times I've read Dr. Suess's wonderful book "One Fish Two Fish", I thought the bad fish on this page were the little yellow and blue fish. The red fish, in my child's eyes, was their father. The yellow fish was in trouble and had been "very very bad." The little blue fish was smug because he'd gotten away with it and his sibling was taking the blame. The red father fish was spanking the little yellow fish.


I saw this page last night through adult eyes and decided, beyond any shadow of a doubt, that our home will never be a spanking home.

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 I came across this while going through the list of blogs I follow (weeding through them, eliminating dead ones or ones I'm not interested anymore)  and the post made me think.
I have read this book multiple times and it never occurred to me that people would think the yellow one was the bad fish.
I showed HUbby the picture and asked him who was bad, he said the red one. #1 & Baby Blue were in the room too, so i asked them. They both said the red one. When i asked why, #1 said "Red is always evil" (thank you video games *sigh*) and thenBaby Blue (4)  came out with "no, he's bad because he's hitting."

Personally I always thought the red fish was pushing the yellow one over the blue one.

I found this blog post randomly as i was checking into facebook today.
Cry it out (CIO): 10 reasons why it is not for us | PhD in Parenting

1. CIO can cause harmful changes to babies’ brains
2. CIO can result in decreased intellectual, emotional and social development
3. CIO can result in a detached baby
4. CIO is harmful to the parent-child relationship
5. CIO can make children insecure
6. CIO often doesn’t work at all
7. Even if CIO does “work”, parents often have to do it over and over again
8. CIO is disrespectful of my child’s needs
9. Deep sleep from CIO is often a result of trauma
10. Our world needs more love

Read the original post on the blog, along with the details that go with each reason (to long to post here, plus i'm sure the blogger would rather you read the post on their blog)


I am a firm believer in non-cio. I don't understand this need parents today have with having their child un-attach from them at an early age. It just isn't natural to not respond to a child's needs. Babies cry for a reason, even if that reason is just that they need you. Go to them. Pick them up. Respond to them.
Responding to a baby only fosters security. Security in knowing someone will be there for them when they need it. I don't think that is a bad lesson to teach your child, do you?
Security makes for children who know they can do things, they grow to become independent. They grow to become secure adults.
It all starts with something as simple as you responding to their cries and needs.

Sure, if you let them cry long enough they will eventually stop.
If i cried out for someone to come help me and no one came, eventually i would give up to, wouldn't you?

What Happens When You Tattoo “Daddy’s Boy” on Your 3-Year-Old-Son « Thought Catalog

This man tattooed his 3 year old.
He forever altered the three year old child's body. Without medical reason, or consent.
For that he is going to jail.

Sadly, our society allows the same situation to happen to thousands of baby boys every day. They are having parts of their body removed, for no valid medical reason, without their consent.
Are the parents who consent to this jailed or even punished? No.
Are the hospital staff punished? Nope.
We allow it. Every day.

Just because it's what is considered normal, and it's what our fathers and their fathers have done, we allow it.

Just because it's what we've always done, doesn't make it ok.

Why is altering a child's body ok in certain circumstances and not in others?

Room by Emma Donoghue

My rating: 5 of 5 stars


I can't even put into words what I think of this book.

To say it's amazing seems to be underselling. This book is beautiful and shows strength,determination and love,in both Jack & Ma.
I could hardly bare to put the book down, and often found myself reading it out loud to my husband.I still find myself telling others about the book, and quoting it.





View all my reviews

Room by Emma Donoghue

My rating: 5 of 5 stars

I can't even put into words what I think of this book.

To say it's amazing seems to be underselling. This book is beautiful and shows strength,determination and love,in both Jack & Ma.
I could hardly bare to put the book down, and often found myself reading it out loud to my husband.I still find myself telling others about the book, and quoting it.

View all my reviews

"Infant formula has only been around for about 100 years, and has only been widely used for about 60. Every time a deficiency is fixed in the product, it is heralded as being 'closer than ever to breast milk'. I could take a step out of my front door and be 'closer than ever' to California. Doesn’t change the fact that I’m still thousands of miles away."


--Snagged from The Leaky Boob on FB